Our journey with infertility seems to have come to a halt. Our little bundle of joy came in God’s perfect timing and created a sense of completeness in our family. Winnie Mae was the ending to that phase of infertility and sadness, and boy, was it a beautiful ending.
I am so happy to report that we are genuinely content. We are content with the little girl our wonderful Heavenly Father decided to bestow upon us. We are content that after much heartache, He gave us Winnie.
So this is where the PSA comes into play. Please, and this may sound like I’m begging...because I am...STOP encouraging us to be discontent with what God gave us. Please stop acting like one child is not enough. Do you know that Winnie wasn’t even three weeks old when the first person, who was not family or a close friend, began asking me if we were having more children? I was absolutely flabbergasted. I wasn’t even healed from having Winnie. We hadn’t paid off our infertility bills or our hospital/baby bills yet. And I was already being asked about more kids. I assured myself that this experience was a fluke and no one else would do the same. I was so wrong.
Ever since having Winnie, who is now 9 months old, I have been consistently told of everyone’s sister’s friend’s cousin who went through infertility but then had 3 more children. Good for them. Glad that was God’s plan for them if that’s what makes them happy. Please stop assuming this will be us. Every time you tell me this, you’re discouraging me and making me think, “I don’t know if you remember, but having Winnie wasn’t exactly easy, affordable, or gentle on my body. Winnie’s enough for me. Why does it matter to you how big our family is?”
I currently have zero desire for more children. ZERO. Why you ask? Because I remember praying to my Father, in absolute despair, at my rock bottom, that if He blessed me with a child, I would be content with that child and not ask for more. I’m not saying that you can’t desire more children...most people do and that’s awesome! More lovely people to fill the world with God’s love. But I don’t have to be the same way. I may not have a choice to be the same way. Sure, more children would just give Thomas and I more to love someday and maybe in the future we’ll desire that. But for now, we want to be present. We want to be involved and not take for granted each day, each milestone, each babble, each giggle that Winnie gives us. More biological children may not be in the story God has written for us. Our story may be fostering. Our story could be adoption. Our story might be young empty nesters traveling together and enjoying married life. We have NO CLUE what God has in store for us. But we learned the hard way through infertility, our plans are so futile. God’s plan is going to reign superior all day every day, and I am SO thankful for that—look what His plan did for us in the past! We’re going to take it a day at a time and we’re asking that you do too. If we’re content with what we have, we’re not really sure why you aren’t content for us.
This post was not intended to be snarky or offensive. It’s meant to show how common it is for people to act like one child isn’t enough and how discouraging it can be to those who have struggled to have any. So instead of encouraging discontentment, how about we instead encourage parents to be thankful for the child/children God gave to them, and leave it up to God and them to decide if they’ll have more. Encourage them to bask in the fun, the challenges, the emotions of each stage with their kiddo—instead of making them feel like they’re being rushed to have more children. Encourage them to be content in the state God currently has them in.
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content.”
Philippians 4:11
-The Hostetler's
I am so happy to report that we are genuinely content. We are content with the little girl our wonderful Heavenly Father decided to bestow upon us. We are content that after much heartache, He gave us Winnie.
So this is where the PSA comes into play. Please, and this may sound like I’m begging...because I am...STOP encouraging us to be discontent with what God gave us. Please stop acting like one child is not enough. Do you know that Winnie wasn’t even three weeks old when the first person, who was not family or a close friend, began asking me if we were having more children? I was absolutely flabbergasted. I wasn’t even healed from having Winnie. We hadn’t paid off our infertility bills or our hospital/baby bills yet. And I was already being asked about more kids. I assured myself that this experience was a fluke and no one else would do the same. I was so wrong.
Ever since having Winnie, who is now 9 months old, I have been consistently told of everyone’s sister’s friend’s cousin who went through infertility but then had 3 more children. Good for them. Glad that was God’s plan for them if that’s what makes them happy. Please stop assuming this will be us. Every time you tell me this, you’re discouraging me and making me think, “I don’t know if you remember, but having Winnie wasn’t exactly easy, affordable, or gentle on my body. Winnie’s enough for me. Why does it matter to you how big our family is?”
I currently have zero desire for more children. ZERO. Why you ask? Because I remember praying to my Father, in absolute despair, at my rock bottom, that if He blessed me with a child, I would be content with that child and not ask for more. I’m not saying that you can’t desire more children...most people do and that’s awesome! More lovely people to fill the world with God’s love. But I don’t have to be the same way. I may not have a choice to be the same way. Sure, more children would just give Thomas and I more to love someday and maybe in the future we’ll desire that. But for now, we want to be present. We want to be involved and not take for granted each day, each milestone, each babble, each giggle that Winnie gives us. More biological children may not be in the story God has written for us. Our story may be fostering. Our story could be adoption. Our story might be young empty nesters traveling together and enjoying married life. We have NO CLUE what God has in store for us. But we learned the hard way through infertility, our plans are so futile. God’s plan is going to reign superior all day every day, and I am SO thankful for that—look what His plan did for us in the past! We’re going to take it a day at a time and we’re asking that you do too. If we’re content with what we have, we’re not really sure why you aren’t content for us.
This post was not intended to be snarky or offensive. It’s meant to show how common it is for people to act like one child isn’t enough and how discouraging it can be to those who have struggled to have any. So instead of encouraging discontentment, how about we instead encourage parents to be thankful for the child/children God gave to them, and leave it up to God and them to decide if they’ll have more. Encourage them to bask in the fun, the challenges, the emotions of each stage with their kiddo—instead of making them feel like they’re being rushed to have more children. Encourage them to be content in the state God currently has them in.
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content.”
Philippians 4:11
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How could we not be content with that face?!
-The Hostetler's
Thank you for sharing. God is good at answering prayers in His own way. We have reason to be content and rejoice. We faced similar questions as our family was growing; though most of it comes from well-meaning individuals, it can be discouraging and it may be best that we just ask what we can pray for or do to encourage others.
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